he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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