i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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