Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she pinky promised me she was 18
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
