I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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