While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We are all done wearing pants today
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
