she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I would ride that face into the sunset
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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