So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
im on a boat
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