My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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