I'm lost and stupid without you.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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