Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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