it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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