I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
