remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
