these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
