Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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