...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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