He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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