shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
