i would punch a child for taco bell
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The air was thick with penises
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize