Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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