Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
