it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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