Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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