Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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