He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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