Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
