This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
