this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
do herpes really smell.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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