don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
