There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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