If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
