i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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