Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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