For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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