That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
