She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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