Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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