at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize