If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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