i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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