I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There r osticjed everywhere
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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