talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
one two three fourrrrnication!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
