Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
