brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
