your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
