That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
