And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
