i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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