just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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