My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
