I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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