I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
