no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
