listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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