Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
