Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize