Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
