im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
