I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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