You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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