I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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