We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
