make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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