Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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