She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
